Caregiving in the 21st Century: Caring for Others Without Losing Yourself

In this first episode of Caregiving in the 21st Century, host Tiffany Auvil — Caregiver, Mother, Nurse, and Creative — shares her story and the purpose behind this new podcast. While caring for her husband during his battle with cancer, Tiffany experienced the challenges, heartbreak, and strength that define modern caregiving.

This episode introduces the series, explores what’s ahead, and sets the tone for honest, empowering conversations about balancing compassion with self-care. It’s about learning to care for others without losing yourself in the process.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:01

Welcome to the first episode of Caregiving in the 21st Century. And the title of this episode is going to be Caring for Others Without Losing Yourself. And that's what the entire series is really going to be about. First, let me introduce myself. My name's Tiffany Oville. I am first and foremost have been a caregiver. My husband passed away in April of this year, which is now 2025. He battled two primary cancers for um about a little over two years and passed away at the age of 48. We have a son who is now five. So he was four when my husband passed. And um I am also a nurse and I've worked in healthcare since 2002. Um I started as an EMT basic. I went and got my LPN. Um was an LPN up until 2022 when I graduated with my BSN. But throughout that career, I've spent a lot of time in ambulatory settings, working at doctor's offices, doing prior authorizations, dealing with insurance companies, um, and over a lot of different types of offices from specialists to primary care and also population health. Um, so uh when it came to my husband and caring for him and trying to navigate the healthcare system, I was surprised with how much even I struggled knowing what I know. And um there were certain things that occurred that we'll talk about throughout these episodes that I realized like if it wasn't for me and the knowledge that I had, um my husband probably would have died a lot sooner. And that's something that I just don't think we should continue to allow to happen. Um, so that's why I'm here to share what I do know and empower you as a caregiver and maybe you're caring for yourself, so yourself. Um so that way you have the best knowledge and ability to do what you need to do. Um, also as a caregiver, you need to take care of yourself. Um so caregiving really has expanded over the years. Like I said, my husband, um, I cared for him and he was only 48. And a lot of times when we think of caregiving, we think of people who have Alzheimer's or who are elderly. And that's not the case, you know. Um, if you're a parent, you're a caregiver of a young human. Um, and sometimes that's even a struggle, especially if they have chronic conditions like ADHD, uh, asthma, juvenile diabetes, things like that, where you're trying to keep them healthy. And um, when you're dealing with insurance companies and physician offices and hospitals, it can become very complicated at times. And it's hard to know what it is you need to do. Um, and burnout has been, I think, a lot worse of late. Um, we've thought of a caregiver in the past as this martyr. Um, and really that role's changing. Um, and we'll get into that more throughout the series of these episodes. But, you know, if you're on an airplane, the very first thing that they tell you is to put the oxygen mask on yourself if there's an emergency. And that's because you need to be able to put the oxygen masks on the others. But if you don't have oxygen, you're not ever going to be able to do that, anyways. And even though we're not up in the air, it's still the same for us as a caregiver. You've got to care for yourself because if you don't, you're just going to burn yourself out and you're not going to be able to care for the person that you want to take care of. Um, and also really as a caregiver, you're often balancing not just caring for that person, um, if it have a chronic illness or maybe it's your child in general, but you also have a full-time job, most likely. Um, and there's multiple caregivers. And so, like, this is really another full-time job that people don't talk about. It's like the hidden job that you're not being paid for, but it takes up a lot of your time. And um people just, unless you've been in those shoes, don't realize how much time it takes up, not just doing the actual caregiving, but also the emotional drainage. Um, and so as we talked briefly about, we're gonna talk about supporting ourselves um throughout these series. So we're gonna look at different ways of finding um ways to have self-care. And I'm not talking about go relax in a bubble bath because I mean, well, if that is how you like self-care, fine, go do it. Um, I'm not a bubble bath person, but how do I get five minutes just to myself to think and breathe? Um, how do I keep things together uh to be organized so I'm not in a chaotic moment when it comes to like uh a doctor's office visit. Um, and then also we'll figure out how to reconnect with your joy. And because joy is something that we all need to have in our life, um connecting with it sometimes is hard when you think I can't find the joy right now or I don't have time for that because I'm busy caring for my loved one. Um, and then also like how creativity can help you, because one of the things that really helped me um that that two years that I was with my husband caring for him um was my creativity, whether it was crafting something or writing, um, those were the things that really helped me take time for myself. Um, and we're gonna get into some technology and tools. So, technology there is Google, um, which I will say this. Please don't always go and Google everything that you find wrong without understanding more behind it. Um people go and Google like symptoms, and then it always comes back with like cancer or they're dying. So, like it's not always the worst that's gonna happen. Um, you need to have some discernment when you're looking things up. And I'm not telling you to look things up. Actually, one of the things that we'll go through is how to use AI, ChatGPT, to assist you and um learning about your diagnosis, um, reviewing your symptoms. And then that way, not as a diagnostic tool, uh, but as a way to prepare you to talk to your provider or to learn more of what's going on. Um, and then we're also going to talk about like different things that can help you at home. Um technology is amazing, and there is remote patient monitoring that could come in and help you, um, which is like devices that can monitor your blood pressure, the blood sugars, and report it straight back to your physicians if they have that available. And then there are also things like patient portals that your hospitals and physician offices use. So that way you have a collection of all of your information regarding the patient or yourself and the diagnosis right there. Um, and then we're going to dive dig deeper into organization and technology throughout future episodes. Um we're gonna also discuss uh stories. Um, I will use a lot of what I went through with my husband. Um, sometimes I will use words that are explicit because a lot of times that's honestly how I express myself. Um that's me, and you know, I'm not gonna sit here and apologize for it. Uh, but I think there's a lot of us out there who do that as well, and we're we shrink back because of it. And um you need to find your people, and you should never ever have to shrink back. And uh we're gonna look at how you know this is going to build a community, the different things that um you can do to find support. Um and so I really just invite you to come and join us. Uh I'm going to try to at least get one episode out a week. And um, probably in the beginning here, because I do have a lot that I want to share. It might be more often. Um so we'll, you know, adjust and pivot because really pivoting is one of the main things that you have to do as a caregiver. Um, I hope that you find these episodes real and they will be raw. Um, I may cry, um, and you may cry. And so um we'll just get through it together. And, you know, I just want to bring some of this awareness to everyone um who may need it. Um if this isn't your cup of tea, then you know, scroll on. But if this is something that you think you're going to uh benefit from, then you know, follow, subscribe, all those fun things. Um leave a review, and uh we'll keep moving through some of these episodes. Um but you know, the very first thing or the last thing that I want to leave with you today is you cannot pour from an empty cup, but you can refill it. And you need boundaries, you need to breathe, and you need to have um honest conversations. And so that's what we're gonna do here. And you may not like everything I say, and that's fine. Um, but hopefully there's enough that you can pick and choose from to support yourself and support the ones that you're caring for. So until the next episode, um just keep being yourself. Remember that you need to be taken care of first before you can take care of anyone else. And I will see you the next time.